Lima karakter bikin wanita makin seksi

 

Perempuan sering diidentikkan sebagai ‘makhluk lemah’. Padahal, jika diusut lebih dalam, perempuan memiliki segalanya untuk bertahan hidup lebih lama dibandingkan pria.

Lalu, apa yang harus Anda lakukan untuk menghilangkan kesan lemah? Tambahkan lima karakter berikut, Anda pun akan terlihat lebih kuat dan makin seksi di matanya, seperti dikutip dari Marie Claire.

1. Cerdas
Semua orang diberkati dengan berbagai bentuk kecerdasan dari kreativitas hingga kecerdasan ilmu pengetahuan. Perempuan yang cerdas tak hanya mampu mengandalkan otaknya untuk meraih karier yang diinginkan, tetapi juga mampu melihat dan membaca situasi dalam kehidupan pribadi. Di dalam dunia kencan, perempuan pintar akan mampu melihat apakah pria yang dikencani hanya bermain-main dengannya atau mengharapkan lebih.

2. Jujur
Terkadang, lebih mudah berbohong dibanding harus jujur tentang segala hal. Tapi, bagi pria, kejujuran adalah yang dicari dari seorang perempuan. Hal ini membuat mereka lebih mudah menaruh kepercayaan pada perempuan.

3. Ambisi
Perempuan memiliki lebih banyak ambisi dibanding pria. Di satu sisi, ia ingin karier yang cemerlang, di sisi lain ia ingin menjadi ibu dan istri yang sempurna bagi keluarganya. Ambisi ini menjadikan dia perempuan super, bahkan melebihi kemampuan pria.

4. Gairah
Gairah tak hanya berjalan seiring dengan ambisi, tetapi juga dengan kepribadian. Jika perempuan tidak memiliki rasa cinta yang penuh gairah pada setiap hal yang ia kerjakan, ia akan tampak memiliki kepribadian yang lemah. Gairah juga terkait dengan loyalitas pada sesuatu pekerjaan atau pun pada keluarga.

5. Kekuatan untuk mengatakan ‘tidak’
Kerap kali perempuan tidak dapat tegas mengatakan tidak pada sesuatu yang dianggapnya tidak benar. Mereka dihantui rasa takut akan apa yang terjadi ketika mereka menolak. Hal ini yang sering kali membuat perempuan tampak lemah di mata pria. Padahal, mereka memiliki kesempatan yang sama dengan pria untuk melakukan apa yang mereka suka dan memutuskan sesuatu hal

Tips Memasak Cumi-Cumi

Membersihkan dan memasak cumi-cumi memang susah-susah gampang. berikut ada tips untuk anda untuk mengolah cumi-cumi menjadi sajian istimewa keluarga anda.Memilih cumi-cumi segar:

 

- Cumi-cumi yang kecil biasanya badannya berwarna keunguan bertitik-titik hitam, sedang cumi-cumi yang besar (hingga 20 cm) biasanya berwarna putih dengan sedikit titik-titik hitam. Pilihlah cumi yang badannya kenyal dan tampak segar. Cumi yang layu dan tidak mengkilap lagi biasanya sudah hampir membusuk.

- Cumi akan menciut usai diolah. Karena itu, hitunglah berapa jumlah ekornya dalam sekilo. Dengan demikian, Anda tidak kecewa ketika sekilo cumi yang Anda beli ternyata hanya menjadi satu porsi hidangan, yang tentu tak sepadan dengan jumlah anggota keluarga.
Membersihkan cumi-cumi:

Pisahkan kepala dari badan dengan menariknya perlahan. Buanglah

Kantung tinta yang terdapat di bawah rahang dengan pisau. Jika Anda tak berhati-hati, kantung tinta itu bisa pecah. Bagi yang suka, kantung tinta ini bisa ikut diolah, karena lebih gurih. Namun, demi penampilan, biasanya kantung tinta ini dibuang.

Masukkan telunjuk ke dalam kantung tubuh cumi dan tarik keluar kotoran yang ada di dalamnya yang bentuknya bulatan kecil. Selebihnya, yanga da di kantung tubuh adalah lemaknya. Ketika Anda memasukkan jari ke dalam tubuh cumi, Anda akan menyentuh tulang rawan di bagian pungung sebelah dalam. Tulang rawan ini mencuat ke atas, persis di tengah punggung. Tariklah tulang rawan yang pipih bening berbentuk perisai tersebut.

Setelah itu, cuci badan cumi di bawah aliran keran hingga benar-benar bersih, termasuk kepalanya. Setelah bersih, masukkan kepala cumi ke badan masing-masing. Sebaiknya, masukkan secara terbalik. Dengan cara ini, cumi yang sudah diolah kan tampak bulat dan tidak peot.

Tips memasak cumi:

Masukkan cumi yang sudah dicuci bersih ke dalam wajan. Taburkan sedikit garam dan gula pasir, nyalakan api kecil, dan tutup wajan. Tak lama kemudian, cumi akan mengeluarkan air. Setelah airnya surut, tuangkan sedikit minyak goreng. Bolak-balik hingga airnya betul-betul kering.

Tips Malam Pertama, Agar Lancar dan Tanpa Rasa Sakit

 

Hubungan seksual saat malam pertama identik menyakitkan bagi kaum wanita. Berikut beberapa tips bagi pria dan wanita yang dibagi oleh para seksolog agar malam pertama Anda tidak menyakitkan. Umumnya rasa sakit yang muncul pada malam pertama dipengaruhi oleh seberapa banyak cairan lubrikasi yang dihasilkan dan seberapa tegang hymen (selaput dara) dari wanita tersebut saat berhubungan seks. Tidak sabar keburu nafsu bisa membuat perasaan saat malam pertama lebih tegang, buat suasana santai Ketika seorang wanita terangsang maka aliran darah akan mengalir dengan cepat dan lancar. Kondisi ini menyebabkan seluruh pembuluh darahnya melebar termasuk di bagian organ intimnya. Pelebaran inilah yang menentukan tegang atau tidaknya selaput dara.

 “Tips buat pria, pria fokus membuat pasangan Anda nyaman. Caranya ungkapkan pada wanita pasangan Anda bahwa Anda menginginkan dirinya dan mengapa sebagai pria Anda tertarik pada pasangan untuk Anda nikahi (wanita yang merasa dicintai dan diinginkan oleh pasangannya akan mudah terangsang sehingga organ kelaminnya mengeluarkan lubrikasi yang cukup untuk membuat senggama pertamanya tidak sakit),” jelas Zoya Amirin, psikolog seksual, saat live chat detikForum di kantor detikcom, Buncit Indah, Jakarta, Jumat (16/12/2011). 

Bagi wanita, pujilah pria pasangan Anda jika ia melakukan sentuhan atau gerakan yang Anda sangat nikmati dan benar-benar merangsang Anda, sehingga ia tahu bagaimana dan dimana memuaskan Anda terus menerus.  “Bagi pria performa seksual sangat penting,” lanjut Zoya. Rasa nyeri yang muncul pada saat malam pertama bisa diakibatkan oleh kurangnya pelumasan sehingga bibir atau dinding Miss V mengalami luka karena bergesekan dengan Mr P.. Untuk itu sebaiknya pasangan melakukan ‘foreplay’ (pemanasan) yang cukup pada malam pertama hingga lubrikasi yang terjadi banyak dan bisa mencegah perdarahan akibat robeknya selaput dara sehingga tidak menimbulkan rasa sakit. 

Namun ada beberapa wanita yang mengaku masih merasa kesakitan meski sudah melakukan pemanasan. “Masih kebanyakan dipikirin sih bukan dinikmati foreplay-nya, kalau masih kering organ kelaminnya setelah foreplay biasanya kurang terangsang, mungkin sedang lelah atau banyak pikiran barangkali ya. Siapkan saja gel di rumah, bisa dibeli di apotik terdekat supaya senggama tidak sakit,” ujar Zoya yang juga pengajar di Fakultas Kesehatan Masyarakat, Universitas Indonesia. Pakar andrologi dan seksolog, Prof Dr dr Wimpie Pangkahila, SpAnd, FAACS, dalam tulisannya di detikHealth juga menuturkan bahwa masalah hubungan seksual pertama intinya adalah siap dan tidak, serta terangsang atau tidak. “Intinya kan hanya masalah siap atau tidak siap dan terangsang atau tidak terangsang saja. Kalau wanita sudah siap dan terangsang, pasti tidak akan sakit,” ujar pakar andrologi dan seksolog, Prof Dr dr Wimpie Pangkahila, SpAnd, FAACS. Prof Wimpie menuturkan rasa sakit tersebut bisa dicegah jika laki-laki tidak tergesa-gesa dalam melakukan penetrasi. Serta selaput dara yang robek tidak selamanya ditandai dengan pendarahan. “Justru yang bagus itu nggak sakit atau tidak berdarah. Wanita bisa saja tidak berdarah saat terjadi penetrasi dan selaput daranya robek, karena artinya si pria sudah bisa merangsang wanita dengan baik,” jelas dokter yang mendapatkan gelar seksolog dari University of Washington, Amerika Serikat tersebut. Hal senada juga diungkapkan Dr Andri Wanananda, MD dalam konsultasinya di detikHealth mengatakan bahwa pendarahan pada hubungan seks malam pertama tergantung pada elastisitas selaput dara, bila sangat elastis tidak terjadi perdarahan. 

Having Sex for the First Time on Your Wedding Night

 

We're always hearing about couples who are worried that their first night together as husband and wife will be boring because they've already been having sex with each other for years. But what about couples that wait for the wedding night? Some people don't believe you should have sex before you are married. Others just want to make sure they are in a confirmed, committed relationship before sharing such intimacy.

Far too often in popular culture or even among friends, we make light of love making. But it's a really big deal to offer your body to someone. It requires trust and confidence, which is what should exist between husband and wife. And when you're having sex for the first time on your wedding night, you might also need patience. While sex is a natural part of life, it's a bit more complicated than you might think. Besides the fact that you might experience pain the first time you have sex, you also will experience a wave of emotions that are new to you. That can be a lot when you're newly married. Make sure you catch a good spouse, who will treat you right, respect your wishes, and help you learn to enjoy sex. If you love each other, the rest will fall into place -- even if you have to have some awkward love making sessions for practice first.

Did you wait for the wedding night to have sex with your husband or wife? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

Optimism vs. Pessimism

 

Happiness lies in the middle

Whoever said that everything in moderation is a good thing was definitely onto something. How many of us grew up believing in Peter Pan philosophies, that thinking happy thoughts would make everything better? Or that "every cloud has a silver lining", "the glass is always half-full", and that no matter how awful life gets, "there's a light at the end of the tunnel"? Perhaps you were at the other extreme, raised on the belief that by thinking the worst of everything and everyone, you'd be better prepared for inevitable disappointment. The truth is, there are benefits to both sides. The ideal, it seems, may just lie somewhere in the middle. This article discusses the downside and upside to both perpetual optimism and pessimism, and attempts to find a happy medium between the two. Psychologists and self-help gurus have long touted that an optimistic attitude or positive thinking is the key to success and happiness - and there is plenty of research to back the claim up. Studies have shown that positive thinking can reduce tension (Wellner & Adox, 2000) and enhance emotional well-being and cardiovascular health (Calabia, 200). A study by McGregor et al. (2004) found that women who had a more optimistic outlook tended to be less worried about breast cancer, while pessimists had a tendency to overestimate their risk of being diagnosed with the disease. Not only are optimists shown to be more resilient in the face of difficulties, but they also have healthier lifestyle habits, and cope with stress more easily (Wellner & Adox, 2000; Myers, 1992). Their proactive approach to life and ability to see the possible in the impossible also makes them quite successful (Myers, 1992). Obviously, positive thinking does have its undisputable benefits, but is there such a thing as being too optimistic? We've all come across that "annoyingly" happy Pollyanna who is sooooo perpetually joyful that their peals of laughter feel like nails on a chalkboard…but really, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with finding joy in a flat tire (you get to practice your tire-changing skills), humor in a broken leg (it really was a pretty funny tumble down those stairs) or new beginnings in a stolen wallet (all those newly shiny cards you will get)? One potential problem is that people who refuse to take off their rose-colored glasses can put both their emotional and physical health at risk. Some optimists - or, more to the point, unrealistic optimists - have been known to ignore serious disease symptoms (assuming that they would simply go away) (Lazarus, 2000), refrain from using safety precautions when taking risks (Myers, 1992), and deal with emotional problems through denial, nonchalance, or blaming others (Centre for Confidence and Well-Being, n.d.; Lawson, 2004). Some stress (non-chronic) is actually good for our body, giving us the boost we need to effectively deal with a situation (Raeburn, 2006). However, research has also revealed that while optimism can be a protective factor against stress, it can actually suppress the immune system in cases where the stressor is much more serious and complex (Segerstrom, 2006). Although very few therapists (if any) would promote negative thinking, setting our expectations lower can, in some cases, result in less disappointment - or at least much less than what an optimist would have expected (Richler, 2000). Ultimately however, there are few positive things to say about pessimism (yes, pun intended). Pessimists tend to have higher blood pressure, greater difficulty dealing with anxiety and stress and, not surprisingly …being chronic party poopers, more interpersonal difficulties (Chatterjee, 1999). Now, optimists at this point can easily turn around and say, "You're wrong. We've always looked on the bright side of things, maintained an eternal positive attitude, and things have been good. Why should we have to assume the worst? Why should we focus on the negative? Life is too short!" And they're right - if you expect the worst in life, chances are pretty good that you'll get it … negativism does tend to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. "Be that as it may", the pessimists would probably respond, "We're just as successful as you smiling fools. We live a good life. We may not be happy, but really, who is? Happiness is a pipe dream. Anybody who says she's or he's happy is either a liar or drunk." Once again, they're right. Pessimists, by expecting the worst, are sometimes better prepared. But between the two adversaries lies the voice of reason - the Realist. The realists, benefiting from the strengths of both sides, see the situation differently: "You're right. You all are. But there's no reason to walk around all day with a stormy cloud above your head or those blinding rose-colored glasses. Happiness is the journey, not a destination. Think positively, but with common sense." No one has hurt themselves smiling or frowning…but I don't think any of us have the energy to smile or frown all the time. In the end, it may be that the key to life and happiness is this: There's nothing wrong with hanging out on cloud nine but for goodness sake, wear a parachute.

Oral Sex Tip - Choosing a Condom for Oral Sex

 

When you want to have safe oral sex, it's important to choose the right sort of condom. Whether you'll be using the condom directly on a man or cutting it into a dental dam to use with a woman, you have plenty of options. Here are some things to think about.

• There are plenty of reasons why condoms with N-9 are a bad idea, but there's one big reason why they're a bad idea for oral sex. Keep a spermicidally lubricated condom in your mouth for too long and your tongue will go numb. Plus, they taste disgusting.
• Some flavored condoms are rated for safe sex, others are just novelty items. When choosing a flavored condom, make certain to read the box.
• Do not use oil-based food products as oral sex aids when using latex condoms for protection. Oil and latex don't mix, as it can degrade the material -- and leave you unprotected.
• There are flavored lubricants available that are safe for both oral sex and vaginal penetration, and some of them are even relatively tasty. Check the labels carefully, however, to see if the one you've chosen is labeled as safe for internal use. In particular, lubricants with sugar can disrupt normal yeast levels in the vagina and lead to an unpleasant infection.
• When in doubt about whether or not the condom you selected is up to par, switch condoms. Remember that you should never use the same condom for both anal and vaginal penetration.
• You can have an extra bit of fun with using condoms for oral sex if you put them on with your mouth.

Why women love oral sex

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Women now enjoy receiving oral sex more than any other type of sexual activity, research suggests. This is because cunnilingus has become a mainstream sexual activity, reflecting a change in the tide of sexual behaviour.

A recent survey shows that the act is fast becoming as common as fellatio, as oral sex is now extremely popular among teenagers and young adults (Bay-Cheng & Fava, 2010 in psychworld.com).

The sexual activity is becoming increasingly common for young women and is a fundamental part of the 21st Century sexual revolution, University of Alberta researcher Brea Malacad (www.unicell.inc) said about a recent study she conducted into oral sex trends.

All the women in her study of 18-25 year olds who'd had sex also had oral sex, she found. Most women who had oral sex did so because they enjoyed it. And almost a third said they enjoyed giving fellatio because it made them feel powerful and empowered.

Keeping it safe

Surveys also show that many young people are not aware that they can pick up a wide range of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV, the herpes simplex virus, human papillomavirus (HPV), hepatitis B, gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia through unprotected oral sex (advocatesforyouth.org). Barriers such as dental dams, femidoms and condoms are absolutely required for safer sex.

What type of women enjoy oral sex?

Not surprisingly, it's more popular among women with good sexual self-esteem. Researchers have found that women who view their genitals positively have more sex and enjoy it more than others. In contrast, those who view their genitals negatively get less pleasure out of cunnilingus (Reinholtz & Muehlenhard, 1995, psychworld.com).

Women who have greater sexual openness, self-awareness, and assertiveness tend to experience cunnilingus earlier and have more cunnilingus partners (Bay-Cheng & Fava, 2010, psychworld.com).

Why do women love receiving oral?

Plainly put, it gets the job done. Around 70 percent of women can only orgasm if their clitoris is stimulated directly with lips, tongue, fingers or items such as vibrators, while a minority (about 30 percent) of women can climax through vaginal intercourse. It's a controversial point but most sexologists believe the clit is the source of all female orgasms. However, women can climax through vaginal intercourse if their clitoris is also stimulated due to the position chosen (The Grind is one of the best known positions for this).

Oral sex is more of a sure bet, though. And the tongue is a favourite because it is soft and warm, and because saliva is a natural lubricant that prevents 'burn' from dry stimulation. It goes without saying that the more aroused a woman is from foreplay, the easier it is for her to orgasm in oral play as the genital area becomes increasingly engorged with blood the more she's turned on.

Oral provides greater orgasmic opportunity

To reach an orgasm, women need ongoing, steady stimulation which means that the giver needs to be patient and not rush. In vaginal intercourse, guys typically orgasm more quickly from the stimulation this provides the penis - and women usually need to be stimulated for a longer period than their partners are able to last.

In cunnilingus, it's more likely that the giver will provide the right kind of stimulation as there are no distractions to curtail the event - such as his own impending orgasm. The giver is also able to stimulate different spots simultaneously using hands and mouth; multiple stimulation is more likely to take a woman past the point of no return. And if his tongue tires, his fingers or a vibrator can easily keep up the pleasure strokes.

Yet even if a woman doesn't climax from oral play, if she's close she may find that vaginal intercourse provides the final push over the edge - especially in a sex position that massages the G-spot or provides dual vaginal/clitoral stimulation.

As awareness of women's sexual response grows, especially that stimulating the clitoris is the singularly most important route to female orgasms, pleasuring a woman orally is increasingly likely to take centre stage.

For naughty sex toys, our favourite sex positions and hot sex techniques, see OhZone. - IOL